Showing posts from April, 2015

Teens & Expectations: Do You Motivate or Cause Anxiety?

Parents are teachers, role models, leaders and guides.  We spend years trying to impart lessons about life.  We want our children to become self-motivating.  We want them to have a desire to strive and achieve.  In our quest to encourage them, we need to be careful not to cross the line that divides expectations from unreasonable pressure.
Expectations should be realistic and achievable.  We need to know that the ability to complete the task or exhibit the behavior is absolutely within our child’s capabilities.  We need to have expectations that are about our own children as individuals and not in comparison to others. We need to have expectations that are not wishes.  You can wish for your children but, ultimately, they will not live out your dreams.  They need to develop and find their own.  If you try to force them to live your dreams for them, they will never be their authentic selves.  If they fail to live up to their parents’ wishes, that feeling of failure becomes a part of th…

Self-Awareness: A Family Activity

People tend to be reactive.  Something happens.  We react.  The next thing happens.  We react.  We spend many days putting out fires without taking the time to consider why we react as we do and how we could be more effective; yet, we want our children to measure their reactions carefully.  A child grabs a toy and we want our child to remember to say, “I don’t like when you do that.”  Children get frustrated and we want them to remember not to push or shove or refuse to wait.  Do we model that behavior?  Do we think before we act?
The power of self-awareness and reflection is immeasurable.  We all make mistakes.  We all get carried away by emotion sometimes.  We can model the ability to reflect and self-correct for our children.  We can be examples of wisdom rather than drama.
Make self-awareness a family activity. Each day, spend time discussing the following questions: What was great about today?How can I make great times like that happen again?What was hard about today?How can I ma…